i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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