I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
