there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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