Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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