covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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