you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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