His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
