Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
