i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's shark week go big or go home
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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