If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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