i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize