just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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