Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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