Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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