I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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