you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
