SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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