i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
