Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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