JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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