I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
