He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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