I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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