You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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