It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Less talking, more tequila
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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