Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's always time for handjobs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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