I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
