I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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