TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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