Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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