Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize