i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
