My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
