Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
