So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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