I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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