"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You took a bar mat shot.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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