Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
