He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
