you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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