yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
