Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
