i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
