if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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