Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
