no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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