her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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