Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
