Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
