I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
