It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
