Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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