Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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