we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
