Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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