And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize