I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
