I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
