Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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