Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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