your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My ass is underappreciated
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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