The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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