I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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