white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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