people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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